The Aqua Foundation for Women is a non-profit organization that is dedicated to serving and supporting LGBTQ+ women. Founded in 2004, it is the only 501c3 non-profit in Florida created by and for LGBTQ+ women. One of the 10 pillars of the LGBTQ+ community is lesbian and queer women, and the Aqua Foundation is committed to being their voice.
The world of online dating is often fraught with challenges, especially for marginalized communities. Lesbian and queer women, in particular, have struggled to find safe spaces to connect with one another, but the “Her” dating app has been a beacon of hope since its launch in 2015. However, the app recently faced backlash over a mass notification sent to its users, calling on transphobes to delete their accounts.
In the notification, “Her” founder Robin Exton stated that all lesbians are welcome on the app, including trans and non-binary lesbians. The message was intended to mark Lesbian Visibility Day and express support for the broader LGBTQ+ community. However, it was met with a wave of criticism from users who felt excluded by the language used.
The controversy sparked a heated exchange on “Her’s” Twitter account, which ultimately led to the platform’s temporary suspension. Many users felt that the app’s message was not inclusive enough and that the language used was divisive. Some pointed out that the app’s name, “Her,” implies that it is exclusively for cisgender women, which further alienates trans and non-binary users.
This controversy highlights a larger issue within the LGBTQ+ community: the tension between different identities and the struggle for inclusivity. Many lesbians and queer women have historically excluded trans and non-binary individuals from their spaces, leading to deep-seated divisions and hurt feelings. While “Her’s” message was well-intentioned, it failed to address these underlying tensions and may have caused more harm than good.
The incident also highlights the challenges faced by LGBTQ+ dating apps in general. These platforms must balance the need to create safe spaces for their users with the desire to be inclusive and welcoming to all members of the community. It’s a delicate balance that can be difficult to strike, especially in a world where bigotry and discrimination continue to be pervasive.
Ultimately, the “Her” controversy serves as a reminder that inclusivity and acceptance must be at the forefront of our efforts to create a more just and equitable world. As a community, we must strive to be more understanding and supportive of each other’s identities and experiences, even if they differ from our own. Only then can we truly create safe and welcoming spaces for all LGBTQ+ people.
Author
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Mateo is the new Executive Director of the AQUA Foundation for Women, Florida's only 501c3 focused on improving the lives of LGBTQ+ women through grants, initiatives, and community-building. Mateo’s approach to social justice work is influenced by his professional experience, his academic studies, and his lived experience as a queer, transgender person of color.