Renowned musician Matthew Herbert recently shared the wonderful news of his son Finn’s birth on social media. However, instead of receiving widespread congratulations, Herbert was subjected to vicious attacks from trolls, largely centered around his choice of having Finn through surrogacy. These incidents shed light on the prejudices that persist surrounding non-traditional paths to parenthood, emphasizing the need for greater understanding and acceptance.
Facing Online Trolls
Following Herbert’s heartfelt post celebrating his son’s arrival, he was met with hurtful comments and unsolicited DMs from trolls questioning his role as a father and the legitimacy of his chosen path to parenthood. Despite the negativity, supportive voices emerged, urging people to respect Herbert’s decision and emphasizing the importance of minding one’s own business.
Confronting Hate with Love
Undeterred by the trolls, Herbert courageously responded, acknowledging the presence of hate in the world and its impact on his family. He asserted that the negativity would not dampen their spirits, but expressed concern for Finn’s future as he grows. Herbert highlighted the abundance of love surrounding Finn, reassuring his followers that he and his partner are committed to providing a nurturing environment.
Twitter, he is just perfect.
— Matthew Herbert (@m_herbert) May 13, 2023
Finn arrived literally into my hands with just 4 pushes at 3:03am on the 13th of May following 18 hours (!!!) of labour contractions.
Everyone is super happy and healthy.
Finn has filled a hole in our hearts we didn’t even know existed 🥰🥰 pic.twitter.com/YOCCyJU229
The Importance of the Surrogate’s Role
Herbert made a point to protect the privacy of Finn’s birth mother, recognizing her as an integral part of their lives. He addressed misconceptions about surrogacy, clarifying that in places like New Zealand and the UK, where commercial surrogacy is illegal, surrogates choose to carry babies for altruistic reasons rather than financial gain. Herbert’s response aimed to dispel the notion that surrogacy involves “purchasing” a child, emphasizing the complex relationships and emotional bonds that exist between intended parents and surrogates.
Advancements in Surrogacy Laws
The discussion surrounding Herbert’s experience brings attention to ongoing efforts to reform surrogacy laws. In the UK, recommendations have been made to simplify the legal process for intended parents, granting them parental rights from birth. These proposed changes seek to ensure equitable access to parenthood and provide more balance for LGBTQ+ and heterosexual intended parents.
Reading the replies and unsolicited DMs has reminded me how much hate there is in this world, and how there are people who don’t want us and baby Finn to succeed in this world.
— Matthew Herbert (@m_herbert) May 15, 2023
Fear not, it’s all water off a ducks back for us.
But it won’t always be for Finn as he grows. 1/ pic.twitter.com/fRimsBNeg9
Embracing Love and Equality
The backlash faced by Matthew Herbert serves as a reminder that societal prejudices still persist when it comes to non-traditional paths to parenthood, including surrogacy. It is essential to promote understanding, respect, and acceptance, regardless of how families are formed. By embracing love and equality, we can create a society where all individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation or chosen path to parenthood, are celebrated and supported.
